Cold
by AmourXSexXetXYaoi
Summary: Dear Potter . . . This isn't some silly hufflepuff love letter you gryffindors expect, this is simply a letter from me to you. Now before I begin, I want to tell you why I'm writing this to you . . .
1. Chapter 1

Hello

This is a new fic that I thought of a while ago but I never submitted it until now. It's inspired by the song "Cold" by Crossfade. Anyway I hope you guys like it and feel sympathy for Draco.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song, the characters or settings mentioned

Warnings: None

Enjoy!

* * *

"Shit!" He threw the crunched up ball of paper against the door watching it roll on the floor stopping near the other 5 crunched up paper balls. Draco had been sitting in an ancient wooden chair in his dusty room at the Leaky cauldron for the past 5 hours, scratching his head then writing something before throwing it away again. He looked at the new paper he had in front of him on the desk. The white scroll tormented him and challenged him to write something. Write what? you might ask, a love letter perhaps? No, it was too late to speak of love. Maybe it was a letter of redemption? But that would take too many life times. No it was a letter, a simple letter from one person to another. Then if it was as simple as that then why couldn't he write a single thing? He came to one conclusion: "Bloody Potter!"

He cursed Potter for what was the millionth time before he grabbed his feather pen. He dipped it in ink watching as the black ink brought back bad memories, before putting it on the paper.

Dear Potter . . .

This isn't some silly hufflepuff love letter you gryffindors expect, this is simply a letter from me to you. Now before I begin, I want to tell you why I'm writing this to you. I'm pretty sure you have other people to be saving but I think this letter might help you understand somethings.

As a Malfoy, i was brought up as a snobbish little child always getting what i wanted even if it caused despair to others. I learned that i didn't get everything i wanted when i met you. I admit I was over confident thinking that my extended hand in friendship would not be denied but you proved me wrong, just like every other time we faced each other. It was the first turning point of what steadily became a decent into hell. Not just for me but for you too. I always thought that as a Malfoy everything would be easy. I would become a Death eater like my father and make the Malfoy line prosper by getting married to some other girl (most likely some cousin of mine from another country) and have little Malfoy babies who would become my perfect clones. Exactly how I was brought up. Even while we were dating in 7th year, i never once thought about the pain you could be going through. I always thought that it was your destiny, that you surely were equipped with some sort of manual to save the world. That my inane existence in this world was more important than the nightmares that often haunted you. I was always wrapped up in my own problems that i didn't notice the pain you carried like chains, pulling you further down. Even with those chains you still managed to escape. My chains are still attached, new and growing. You were there for me even when i rejected your help and shouted at you. You were the antidote that kept me high, that forced me to keep trying.

I'm Sorry.

After the war, I left you. I left the lifeless shell you had become. Leaving you in the care of others who knew you well and would, and did, better than I would have done, if I had remained at your side. I'm sorry about all the lies. I thought that lying was the easiest way to get out of any situation and it was easy but it was your lifeless eyes that didn't make it so. You probably asked yourself why i left? or had you done something wrong that made me leave? No, you did nothing and that was the problem. During my times of need you were always there to put the broken pieces of me back together, but after the war i had to put you back together while keeping myself intact. I tried, i swear i did! I tried everything to keep us both alive, but i could feel the hidden part of me resurface. The part i hated of myself above all else. The fragile part that needed your help the most. The one that stayed behind the cold wall you knew existed but waited for it to crumble by itself. The more I saw you, the more my wall crumbled. So I left. There was another reason though. You. You were always there to patch me up, to make me be as human as possible. I couldn't stand on my own two legs without you by side to help me up. I decided that if i really wanted to claim you back or make sure you were happy without begging for you to have me back while you were in the arms of another, then i would have to be strong enough not to beg at your feet or cry. I have successfully become that kind of person. After writing this letter, i planned to give it to you in person and congratulate you with my usual smirk then disappear. As long as you are Happy then all the efforts, lies and sadness i put you through had a purpose.

I'm sorry.

Again, i say the words to you that would have my ancestors rolling in their graves. I say it to you because you are an exception, and always have been. In Hogwarts you were the only exception, the only person who could stand up to me, the only person who could make me want to fight, the only person that made me want to love. You, Harry James Potter, the pain in my ass, my rival, my lover, my friend, my heart. You took everything that belonged to me and kept them greedily. Although i can't blame you and i don't have the strength in me to do so.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for being so cold. Even when we were together i was cold towards you, and yet you accepted me, embraced me, loved me and gave your heart to me willingly. I kept this wall up to protect myself. What kind of normal person would stay with someone as cold as i was? No one would. That's why i protected myself from you. I became cold and kept my distance so when the time came that you would finally see that I wasn't worth it and you would leave me, i wouldn't be affected. Even though in the end i still got affected didn't I? My distance changed you and hurt you in so many ways that it affected me none the less. I guess for me there's just no hope.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry this isn't just a regular letter like i said it would be. Instead it became a letter of eternal devotion. One that i hadn't thought i would one day write.

No matter how many times i say it, nothing will change, but i will say it anyway: I love you.

Sincerely yours,

Draco Malfoy

Draco finished the letter, scanning it quickly for any mistakes as he got up from his chair and headed towards the door. He descended the numerous flights of stairs and entered the dinning hall/bar of the leaky cauldron where some early witches and wizards took salvage in the inn's warmth. He took out his wand, tapping the scroll lightly twice as it sealed itself. He placed the scroll in the inside of his coat as he walked out into the snow. Looking up at the sky, he thought of the address of his destination before turning on the spot.

* * *

End of the first chapter ^^

please review to tell me what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two of cold:

Hello and here is the second chapter of cold.

Now i don't own any of the characters but i do mistreat them by putting them in my fics ;)

anyway i just wanted to say that i'm trying to improve my writing skills so in this chaper i'm switching from 1st person view to 3rd person view (not sure if that's how it's said in english ^^") then finally to another characters view. By the way the Michael in here is a muggle and NOT michael corner from the HP. ^^

**_Italic bold = flashback_**

_italic only = inner thought_

good read ^^

* * *

Voices . . .

It's the first thing I hear. Then I start to hear the sound of the hinges of the front door, then finally the quiet click as the door is closed followed by running footsteps to the kitchen as the kettle starts to whistle. Opening my eyes, I squint at the side ways numbers flashing in bright red "8 o'clock am".

« Ugh » I groan as I run a shaky hand through my tousled hair making more knots. Mumbling i sit up in bed and notice that the warm body that i had the pleasure to feel yesterday was gone. I look down at the blanket pooled around my hips before reaching over to the night stand and grabbing my glasses. I fumble out of bed stretching the kinks that developed over night as i head to the bathroom. I enter the bathroom, grimacing at Hermione's bad taste for bathroom wallpaper when something catches my eyes. I look closely before snatching the offending object.

_**'Harry look at what i found!' a voice said with obvious mischief and glee.**_

_**'Oh buggers, don't tell me you bought some anti-muggle contraption again' another voice groaned.**_

_**'I didn't! Now look at this' the voice said with growing impatience.**_

_**'That's-'**_

_**'Yes, that's the golden boy, toothbrush edition.' The voice said with an evident smirk.**_

_**'. . . Don't tell me you're going to use that.'**_

_**'Of course I am! The little bugger cost me much more than it should. . . and anyway now i can say I'm a true Harry Potter fan.'**_

_**'Why do you need that to prove it when you have the real person in front of you?' The other voice asked in mild amusement and anxiety.**_

_**'Jealous are we now?' The voice said full of love.**_

I shake my head erasing all the laughter from my mind as I re-opened my eyes not even sure why I had closed them in the first place. Chucking the toothbrush in the bin without a second glance I made my way towards the shower, but not before catching the pained and lonely look my eyes held in the mirror.

« Harry, I'm so glad you're awake. » Michael said joyfully as he placed he cup of tea on the table. « I wasn't sure if you had work today bu- »

« Thank you » Harry mumbled as he sat at the table ignoring the pouting look Michael was giving him.

« You're welcome » Michael replied after a short pause before rambling on and on. The words flew through his mind, neither grasping nor comprehending the information sent towards him. He would nod and make a non-committal grunt when there was a pause just to be polite but he couldn't give a rats ass on what happened at Mathew? Mike? Aaah Michael's job.

« Harry did you hear me? » Michael asked snapping his fingers in front of Harry's face.

« Err no sorry I was just thinking. » Harry finished lamely.

« Well maybe this will grasp your attention » Michael said as he slapped down a white envelope in front of Harry before getting up from the table to wash the dishes.

_'Why is he still here?'_was the only thing that flitted through my mind behore I sighed. Looking down I picked up the envelope. I touched it feeling a nostalgic emotion pass through me before turning it over.

Scrubbing the dishes and huffing twice more, Michael decided he had pouted enough and that Harry was now ready to listen to him with his full attention because everything that he said was important now that they were going out.

« So like I was sayin- »

« Michael who gave this to you? » Harry asked interrupting him again. Sighing patiently to himself he turned around.

« Well about 30 minutes before you woke up, some bloke came to the house asking for you. So I told him you were still in bed and i didn't know when you were going to wake up. So he reached into his coat and took out this envelope and gave it to me saying he was an . . . acquaintance of yours and he was here to give you a letter. I took the letter and told him I'd give it to you when you woke up, then he left. » Michael concluded shrugging.

« And . . . er . . . did he say who he was? »

« Well he seemed suspicious so I asked him who I should say came to give this letter and he said: Draco Malfoy. »


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing! nada! niete! rien! ^^

During this chapter the pov changes from Draco to harry

Oh there are some lyrics to a song in here but it'll get credited like any good song should in the next chapter ^^

ja!

* * *

« Bloody Malfoy! » Was the last thing I heard as I opened the door before Harry Potter's fist connected with my face, yes that was a very delightful way to say « Hello, may i come in? »

Landing on the floor a foot away from the door, i look up at a huffing, red faced, glaring gryffindor as I clutch my nose, blood running freely from my nose. As stunned as I was, I didn't even think about getting off the dirty floor and yelling at him. All I could do was stare as if I just saw the apocalypse at my bloody door.

« What the bloody hell is wrong with you potter? » I asked bewildered by our situation when reality finally slaps me on the face.

« What do you mean what is wrong with me?! » he asked outraged as he took a few steps into the room before slamming the door closed behind him.

I wince at the tone of his voice like a scolded child when i find myself righted, potter's hands clutching my blood stained shirt as he shook me lightly.

« What's wrong with me, is the fact that i wake up this morning thinking that nothing worse can happen than listening to that idiot talk all morning when he tells me that I've received a letter. Opening that bloody letter was my doom. » He said his harsh words like spitted acid on new open wounds. « I was so bloody mad that I tell the idiot to leave, then he starts talking more and i was so bloody fed up with him that i nearly used a hex on him! On a muggle! » He rants now.

I disengage his hands from my shirt as I turn around looking for something to stop the bleeding.

« But do you know what is the worst? » He asks me now, as i turn around, his head is bowed with his hands hanging limply at his side. « The worst is knowing that you've just told me that you would be happy for me while I'm in the arms of another, and even though I know that I looked up at the door just hoping, wishing that you'd burst through the door and take me away. Grab me jealously like you've always done. » He says tiredly with a hint of longing.

I stare at him, the words which had made my heart stop, make my heart beat faster than it has ever done before.

« Because it hurts, no matter how many times I say that I've forgotten about you, you're always there. When I taste his lips, I taste you. When I feel someones arms around me, i feel disgusted with myself but i still pretend like this will all pass but it never does. I can whore myself out as much as I want but once I've tasted perfection everything else pales. » He said his voice ragged with suppressed emotions.

I stared at him as his ragged eyes loose their fire and become wide filled with pain and fear. He turns around ready to leave the room.

_He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He doesn't care._

I looked at his blank face, then his perfect blond hair, shining grey eyes, the perfect skin I'm just itching to feel against me, just one last time. When everything comes crashing down. All the lust filled thoughts turn into despair etched into the back of my mind as I started to panic.

_He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. He doesn't care._

I turned, hiding the welled up tears at the corner of my eyes, as I head for the door when I'm turned around again and pushed into the door. A groan of protest escaped my mouth as my head connected with the wooden door. Then warm lips mold into mine. Then a soft hand rides up my shirt touching my skin tentatively as another hand grabs the back of my neck, tangling my hair.

He kisses as if it were our first, innocently, testing and waiting for my reaction when a moan escapes my mouth. Then everything moves quickly. Suddenly his hands are everywhere as I finally get to taste him again. Two hands move down my spine sending shivers all over as he grabs my butt , lifting me up his body as he moves to the bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

It might seem confusing but all works out ^^

disclaimer: I don't own anything from HP! The song used in the previous chapter was Thinking of You by Katy Perry, I don't own that either ^^

* * *

Nothing.

It was the first thing that my mind registered when my eyes opened. My trembling hand ghosts over the blanket where Harry's body should have been. Then, when i felt nothing but the cold sheet, everything started to tremble. I sat up in bed looking at nothing in particular. Then I noticed that it wasn't the world that trembled but my whole body. It shook in tremors as my skin covered in goosebumbs from the cold early morning air. I stared at the door where Harry had come bursting into the night before, then i looked down at my hands. They were clutched into fists as I brought them to my face. I pressed my hands against my face wishing to feel the soft skin they touched yesterday night. Then everything came back into my mind. The way he murmured my name, the way he felt underneath me, the way he gasped and moaned when i touched him. What i remembered vividly, though, was the way his eyes burned with fire. Those eyes consummed me. They were filled with lust, anger, fear amongst others which fueled the fire in his eyes.

His eyes.

If I looked back on the many years i spent in that old castle I can vaguely recall the noise of rushing feet, the smell of spilt ink and old paper, the constant black on the students clothes. I can recall without any fault, though, those green eyes that glared at me from across the great hall, those green eyes that filled with mischief during a quiditch match, those green eyes brimming with anger as we fought.

« Draco . . . » a voice said breaking the still silence in the room. I opened my closed eyes, my head turning towards the voice.

Those green eyes were looking at me . . . with something i've been longing to see.

« You're crying. »

I looked down at my hands, and felt another tear roll down my right cheek and fall into my palm. Then a hand made it's way to my face covering my eyes.

« What are you thinking about? » His voice whispered from behind me, into my left ear. His warm breath washed over my body sending a shiver up my spine.

« You. » I sighed as soft lips touched my skin and kissed their way from my ear to the back of my neck. I felt those same lips smile into my skin as his hand moved across my chest and over my heart where his palm rested against my beating heart.

« Mine » He whispered. That's when I knew that nothing else mattered. That somehow everything was all right again.

« Forever » I said. The last thing either of us would say or hear for the next few hours leaving the food Harry had brought up to spoil and chill because we knew that neither of us, was going to wake up alone and **cold**.

**Fin**

* * *

Well i hope you liked it ^^

I'm pretty sure this story could be more detailed and have many twists but i wanted to write something simple. I'm not used to writing something long ^^"

But i will write something quite long soon ^^

_AmourXSexXetXYaoi_


End file.
